Some movies are too long. Some movies are way too long. But POTC:AWE (even the title is too long) is massively way too unbelievably long.

The plot, amongst which there are way too many plots, is/are that Jack Sparrow is rescued from Davy Jones' locker, after he was swallowed by the Kracken (prolly bad spelling) at the end of the last POTC, by his old chums. There are 9 pieces of 8 and a 'Brethren Court' of pirate lords - all of whom end up cowtowing to IKEA Knightley because, due to a rediculous 'crow-bar' plot device, she becomes King of all Pirates. Ed. "I think I'm losing the will to type".

Notably for me (I think it woke me up at one stage) There's a nod to 'The Good, The Bad And The Ugly' with a couple of chiming watches, involving the delicious Naomi Harris (of 28 Days Later fame) as Calypso.

Johnny Depps' Keith Richards/ David Bowie impersonation is wearing extremely thin...in fact its getting on me nerves. And when Keith Richards turns up playing a guitar I paid attention for a while in case the Thin White Duke popped up. Anyway...its just tedious. I couldn't give a rats' arse about any of the characters (apart from Calypso) and I found myself regularly pausing the procedings to do other 'stuff'. The final battle scene, which went on for about 45 mins, almost saved the day but the final nonesense nail in the coffin spoiled even that. The rediculous marriage sequence between Orloondo Bland and IKEA. In all, I would say it took me about 4 weeks to watch this movie...Thank heaven I listened to Mark Kermode and didn't go to the Cinema to watch it.